sometimes i wish i had just studied engineering. i was definitely smart enough to do it. think about it-- all that unfettered access to geeky, intelligent dudes (though I'm already dating the best geeky intelligent dude there is to know, I suppose) but more importantly, everybody I know who is an engineer graduates from college and immediately starts becoming rich. why didn't anybody tell me that this would one day be important?
i don't really mean this. i'm just saying.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
debts and credit (introduction)
Hello everybody! It's been a few days since I've posted. I've missed you! Have you missed me? I've definitely missed you!
Before I begin my next financial confessional, I would like to announce that you are currently reading the words of District 181's finest newly employed substitute teacher. Yup, that's right! I've already worked two jobs as a sub, with a third scheduled for tomorrow (teaching middle school P.E.!) and I am simply pleased as punch! NOT to mention the fact that district subs in our area get paid $84.10 per day-- currently more than three times the amount I have in my wallet! WOO HOO HOO! Thank you, universe! Thank you, Mary T. (superintendent that hired me)! Thank you everybody for reading my blog and hoping on my behalf! I am absolutely thrilled.
So. Next up on the agenda is for me to size up my debts and credit. But to begin, I figured I'd give you a little personal history:
About six years ago, I somehow managed to rack up almost $15,000 in unpaid university bills and unsecured credit card debt. "Geez, melissalynne," you may ask, "How the hell did you manage to do that?"
Well, I will tell you. It's actually not that hard. It's actually, in fact, pretty easy to do.
All throughout college and the year after, I always worked restaurant jobs. (I graduated in 2005.) In case you don't know, working at restaurants is an awesome way to feel rich when you are in your early 20s. You have tons of energy and tons of money to blow. Then, in 2006, I decided to "grow up" and start working a "professional job". At the time, I was considering going back to school for something in medicine-- so I decided to start working at a private Women's Health practice.
I got hired at a really great place-- they were willing to take me on without any prior experience and give me medical training starting from the bottom up. Just one little problem-- when I first started working, I was only getting paid $10/hour. Ten measly dollars an hour, for a girl who was used to bringing home hundreds of dollars in cash every night! This was hardly enough to live on in the one of the country's most expensive cities-- not to mention my relentless addiction to the local music scene (and the coiffed, sultry boys I loved so diehardly) and the copious amounts of alcohol I was consuming to self-medicate my social anxiety. No way!
So, what did I do? What any pragmatic and resourceful girl in her twenties is wont to do, of course-- I started "supplementing" my income! First, with my Bank of America charge card, and then when I maxed out that card, with an American Express, and then, when that was maxed out too, another....
When I finally did manage to get a couple raises and put myself on budget sometime in 2007, it was not before I had "necessarily" racked up about $15,000 in credit card debt. Yikes.
I learned to live on the money I was making; however, my salary didn't provide enough for me to get by AND make the minimum payments on the debt I already owed. What happened next was a financial nightmare. It started slowly at first, and then faster and more and more. First came the envelopes-- large, unfriendly envelopes in black and red font and letters in all caps. Then came the phone calls from unknown 1-800 numbers, and muddled voicemails bearing threats of lawyers and bankruptcy and god knows what else. I ignored the phone calls and threw away all the unopened bills-- what else was I supposed to do? I was totally fucked, and couldn't pay them anyways! Might as well pretend they don't exist, and get back to making out with my talent and awesome hipster boyfriend.
I lived this way, vacillating between these semi-permanent states of denial and fear, until a series of unfortunate events caused a number of elements in my life to come spinning out of control. I realized that I needed to take charge of my life. I had goals and dreams and something needed a change.
In the spring of 2008, I drew upon all the courage I could muster and began to open all the horrible and nasty envelopes I had been avoiding. I looked at my credit report for the first time in my life, and though I didn't really come clean to anybody I knew at the time, I did take a good look at myself. I started working a second job; I downsized my apartment and severely curtailed my profuse drinking habits (I was working so much, I didn't really have a choice). And slowly but surely, I paid down a large chunk of my debt. Around $12,000 worth.
And that, my friends, is where I stand more or less today. There are still some outstanding debts, but how much? And where are they? And, at this point, are they really worth paying off? And if so, how should I go about doing it? These questions and more will be revealed and plodded through in the next blog entry. TBC...
Before I begin my next financial confessional, I would like to announce that you are currently reading the words of District 181's finest newly employed substitute teacher. Yup, that's right! I've already worked two jobs as a sub, with a third scheduled for tomorrow (teaching middle school P.E.!) and I am simply pleased as punch! NOT to mention the fact that district subs in our area get paid $84.10 per day-- currently more than three times the amount I have in my wallet! WOO HOO HOO! Thank you, universe! Thank you, Mary T. (superintendent that hired me)! Thank you everybody for reading my blog and hoping on my behalf! I am absolutely thrilled.
So. Next up on the agenda is for me to size up my debts and credit. But to begin, I figured I'd give you a little personal history:
About six years ago, I somehow managed to rack up almost $15,000 in unpaid university bills and unsecured credit card debt. "Geez, melissalynne," you may ask, "How the hell did you manage to do that?"
Well, I will tell you. It's actually not that hard. It's actually, in fact, pretty easy to do.
All throughout college and the year after, I always worked restaurant jobs. (I graduated in 2005.) In case you don't know, working at restaurants is an awesome way to feel rich when you are in your early 20s. You have tons of energy and tons of money to blow. Then, in 2006, I decided to "grow up" and start working a "professional job". At the time, I was considering going back to school for something in medicine-- so I decided to start working at a private Women's Health practice.
I got hired at a really great place-- they were willing to take me on without any prior experience and give me medical training starting from the bottom up. Just one little problem-- when I first started working, I was only getting paid $10/hour. Ten measly dollars an hour, for a girl who was used to bringing home hundreds of dollars in cash every night! This was hardly enough to live on in the one of the country's most expensive cities-- not to mention my relentless addiction to the local music scene (and the coiffed, sultry boys I loved so diehardly) and the copious amounts of alcohol I was consuming to self-medicate my social anxiety. No way!
So, what did I do? What any pragmatic and resourceful girl in her twenties is wont to do, of course-- I started "supplementing" my income! First, with my Bank of America charge card, and then when I maxed out that card, with an American Express, and then, when that was maxed out too, another....
When I finally did manage to get a couple raises and put myself on budget sometime in 2007, it was not before I had "necessarily" racked up about $15,000 in credit card debt. Yikes.
I learned to live on the money I was making; however, my salary didn't provide enough for me to get by AND make the minimum payments on the debt I already owed. What happened next was a financial nightmare. It started slowly at first, and then faster and more and more. First came the envelopes-- large, unfriendly envelopes in black and red font and letters in all caps. Then came the phone calls from unknown 1-800 numbers, and muddled voicemails bearing threats of lawyers and bankruptcy and god knows what else. I ignored the phone calls and threw away all the unopened bills-- what else was I supposed to do? I was totally fucked, and couldn't pay them anyways! Might as well pretend they don't exist, and get back to making out with my talent and awesome hipster boyfriend.
I lived this way, vacillating between these semi-permanent states of denial and fear, until a series of unfortunate events caused a number of elements in my life to come spinning out of control. I realized that I needed to take charge of my life. I had goals and dreams and something needed a change.
In the spring of 2008, I drew upon all the courage I could muster and began to open all the horrible and nasty envelopes I had been avoiding. I looked at my credit report for the first time in my life, and though I didn't really come clean to anybody I knew at the time, I did take a good look at myself. I started working a second job; I downsized my apartment and severely curtailed my profuse drinking habits (I was working so much, I didn't really have a choice). And slowly but surely, I paid down a large chunk of my debt. Around $12,000 worth.
And that, my friends, is where I stand more or less today. There are still some outstanding debts, but how much? And where are they? And, at this point, are they really worth paying off? And if so, how should I go about doing it? These questions and more will be revealed and plodded through in the next blog entry. TBC...
Friday, January 20, 2012
assets
Ok. Today is the day I take a good look at my assets.
One of Suze's rules about being rich is to quit saying negative things about your current financial situation that aren't true. Regularly saying things like "I'm broke" is a surefire way to keep all your riches at bay. Being broke means hitting rock bottom with nothing-- no job, no place to sleep safely, no food, no friends to go to-- and there are very few of us in that situation. Next time you get the urge to say "I'm broke", think about all the things you have that broke people do not have, and I guarantee you will start feeling richer immediately!
Also, prefacing anything with the words "I need" brings a very desperate energy to the statement. Unless it's something that you absolutely can't live without ("I need oxygen"), better to think to yourself "'I would really love to own' those incredibly chic and fashionable prada sunglasses I tried on at the sunglasses hut a few weeks ago". There is nothing wrong with wanting to have and experience nice things! But if we're to live abundantly, it's important to mean what we say and say what we mean.
At the end of my last blog post, I mentioned how I do not have any assets. So, that is actually not entirely correct. Turns out, assets are (according to wikipedia*):
"... assets are economic resources. Anything tangible or intangible that is capable of being owned or controlled to produce value and that is held to have positive economic value is considered an asset".
This means that any amount of money I can currently claim can be called one of my assets. Excellent!
Additionally, assets can also include things that are not money, but could possibly be "controlled" in a way to produce value. Talents like singing, playing guitar and violin, offering acroyoga and thai massage, knowing about music, writing a kickass blog, thinking of great ideas, being good with people, and selling your mom's old furniture on craigslist are all examples of intangible assets.
I take it back, Suze! I have assets!
Since this blog is primarily focused on financial freedom, we will be limiting our scope of assets to tangible assets, including (but not limited to) money, estate, investments, etc. I already have a general sense about what my assets are going to look like, and have hereto resolved: rather than focus on the size (or lack) of my current assets (which would undoubtedly make me frightened, upset, depressed, and lose hope) I will instead to choose to focus on the fact that I have any at all, and look forward to the day when I have a lot more! This is a key aspect of becoming rich. What you focus on, expands. Rephrase things in a way that brings more to you. Always on the up. Always a way to find and bring more into your life.
Alright. Time to do it. Time to declare my assets to the world. Brave like a lion. This is what it takes. Oh my god, I can not believe I'm doing this. Ok, ready? Here we go:
My current assets:
Wallet: $24 (One $20, Four $1)
Checking account: $52.53
Savings account: $33.16
Piggy bank: spare change, most likely in the amount of around $30. not opening that.
401K (untouchable until retirement, no exceptions): currently valued at $5,131.83
---
Phew. There. Ok. Was that so bad? Are you scared? Don't be. Am I? Well, maybe. I guess I was, just for a second. Scared, embarrassed, ashamed. But I don't need to be. There is nothing to be worried about. I live with my mother. I eat really well and have a super soft, cozy bed to sleep in every night. I just spent the $40 gift card my brother and his beautiful fiancee got me for Christmas at the American Apparel this week, and I am wearing a brand new shirt today, which makes me feel rich. I'm so lucky. I'm actually feeling great! I have a lot to look forward to! But, ok. I do need to find a way to supplement these assets post haste. Especially considering tomorrow is the entry on debt and credit.
In terms of growing my assets, I have a couple of things I can do. I really am trying to make some extra cash selling things we no longer need on craigslist. This can actually be a great way to supplement your income, when time is a commodity. I am scouring the craigslist "gig" section in west chicagoland to see if there are any part time things I can do on the side. And I'm searching hardcore for permanent, career/ professional positions in New York City. I have a tax return coming, which will give me a little bit of a boost, and an opportunity to really begin changing my spending habits.
But more than anything, I have hope, positivity and a relentless faith in something (the universe? god? my greater self? who knows) that things are going to work out for me. I truly believe that if I have the courage to imagine the life of my dreams, the world has the power to deliver it to me. And that, my friends, is the biggest and best asset of all.
Watch me make it happen. Just watch me.
*(in other news, go here to continue to support free internet access. SOPA and PIPA would ruin everything fun, we must not let that happen)
One of Suze's rules about being rich is to quit saying negative things about your current financial situation that aren't true. Regularly saying things like "I'm broke" is a surefire way to keep all your riches at bay. Being broke means hitting rock bottom with nothing-- no job, no place to sleep safely, no food, no friends to go to-- and there are very few of us in that situation. Next time you get the urge to say "I'm broke", think about all the things you have that broke people do not have, and I guarantee you will start feeling richer immediately!
Also, prefacing anything with the words "I need" brings a very desperate energy to the statement. Unless it's something that you absolutely can't live without ("I need oxygen"), better to think to yourself "'I would really love to own' those incredibly chic and fashionable prada sunglasses I tried on at the sunglasses hut a few weeks ago". There is nothing wrong with wanting to have and experience nice things! But if we're to live abundantly, it's important to mean what we say and say what we mean.
At the end of my last blog post, I mentioned how I do not have any assets. So, that is actually not entirely correct. Turns out, assets are (according to wikipedia*):
"... assets are economic resources. Anything tangible or intangible that is capable of being owned or controlled to produce value and that is held to have positive economic value is considered an asset".
This means that any amount of money I can currently claim can be called one of my assets. Excellent!
Additionally, assets can also include things that are not money, but could possibly be "controlled" in a way to produce value. Talents like singing, playing guitar and violin, offering acroyoga and thai massage, knowing about music, writing a kickass blog, thinking of great ideas, being good with people, and selling your mom's old furniture on craigslist are all examples of intangible assets.
I take it back, Suze! I have assets!
Since this blog is primarily focused on financial freedom, we will be limiting our scope of assets to tangible assets, including (but not limited to) money, estate, investments, etc. I already have a general sense about what my assets are going to look like, and have hereto resolved: rather than focus on the size (or lack) of my current assets (which would undoubtedly make me frightened, upset, depressed, and lose hope) I will instead to choose to focus on the fact that I have any at all, and look forward to the day when I have a lot more! This is a key aspect of becoming rich. What you focus on, expands. Rephrase things in a way that brings more to you. Always on the up. Always a way to find and bring more into your life.
Alright. Time to do it. Time to declare my assets to the world. Brave like a lion. This is what it takes. Oh my god, I can not believe I'm doing this. Ok, ready? Here we go:
My current assets:
Wallet: $24 (One $20, Four $1)
Checking account: $52.53
Savings account: $33.16
Piggy bank: spare change, most likely in the amount of around $30. not opening that.
401K (untouchable until retirement, no exceptions): currently valued at $5,131.83
---
Phew. There. Ok. Was that so bad? Are you scared? Don't be. Am I? Well, maybe. I guess I was, just for a second. Scared, embarrassed, ashamed. But I don't need to be. There is nothing to be worried about. I live with my mother. I eat really well and have a super soft, cozy bed to sleep in every night. I just spent the $40 gift card my brother and his beautiful fiancee got me for Christmas at the American Apparel this week, and I am wearing a brand new shirt today, which makes me feel rich. I'm so lucky. I'm actually feeling great! I have a lot to look forward to! But, ok. I do need to find a way to supplement these assets post haste. Especially considering tomorrow is the entry on debt and credit.
In terms of growing my assets, I have a couple of things I can do. I really am trying to make some extra cash selling things we no longer need on craigslist. This can actually be a great way to supplement your income, when time is a commodity. I am scouring the craigslist "gig" section in west chicagoland to see if there are any part time things I can do on the side. And I'm searching hardcore for permanent, career/ professional positions in New York City. I have a tax return coming, which will give me a little bit of a boost, and an opportunity to really begin changing my spending habits.
But more than anything, I have hope, positivity and a relentless faith in something (the universe? god? my greater self? who knows) that things are going to work out for me. I truly believe that if I have the courage to imagine the life of my dreams, the world has the power to deliver it to me. And that, my friends, is the biggest and best asset of all.
Watch me make it happen. Just watch me.
*(in other news, go here to continue to support free internet access. SOPA and PIPA would ruin everything fun, we must not let that happen)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
this is where it all begins
this is my new blog about becoming rich and living the life of my dreams. i'm on a quest for riches in all aspects of life: relationships, spirituality, joy. . . and of course, money. i'm in the middle of reading "the courage to be rich" by suzie orman, who you may or may not know from the hit television series "money class" on oprah's television network. i've always had fantasies about becoming wealthy and having everything i've ever wanted, and although i'm not normally a television-viewer, this show has been a catalyst in motivating me to take these dreams and fantasies to the next level. (i've been watching the show with my mother, who i'm currently living with.)
according to suzie, the first step in getting rich is to have the courage to face yourself and your current situation. she says that money is like a person-- if we value it and take care of it, then it will come back to us with love and loyalty and abundance. this totally makes sense to me. so i said to myself, "self, what is your relationship with money?" to which i answered myself: "hey, i have a great relationship with money! i love money! wait a second... then where is all the money?" that's when i realized it was time to take at serious look at my relationship with the green.
turns out, i really don't treat money with as much attention and respect as i thought. i have a 401K somewhere (where? i have no idea. somewhere?) that has who knows how much amount of money in it. i have a "rough" idea of how much i have in the bank (not as much as i'd like, but more than zero, hey!), and in my wallet (again, not as much as i would like, but more than zero!) i have no idea what my credit score is and a shaky understanding of my outstanding debts at best. and to think i considered myself "fiscally responsible"!
this is the time to get real! i am going to take a good hard look at my finances and current situation. i am also posting this blog for any and all people to see, including friends, "frenemies" (i don't really have any enemies, but i have a lot of peripheral friends who i maybe don't feel as comfortable around as i would like) former crushes and flings, whoever. suzie says that in order to face yourself with courage, you should start telling everybody you know about your financial situation. let me say, the idea of this terrifies me.
originally, i was planning on writing this as a "ok so i have to level with you email" to my current amazing boyfriend and probable future life partner-- and THAT was enough to induce stomach nausea and a mild panic attack. knowing that this info would soon be available to everybody and anybody who cared to read it, all my friends and extended family, HIS friends and family, old classmates and co-workers-- whoever might happen to have a bit of curiosity or voyeuristic streak in them (like yours truly)-- made me feel incredibly vulnerable. "what will they think?" i said to myself. "i am going to look so pathetic. everybody is going to laugh at me. why does it seem like everybody else can get their life together but i can't? i am so embarrassed. i'll never be good enough. this is horrible." these and a million other self-loathing thoughts began swirling around in my head, with their suffocating, toxic, infuriating, diseased and pervasively destructive power, threatening to ruin my day, my newfound excitement, and my future financial freedom.
fortunately (and i think this is the whole point about this exercise) i realized that at the end of the day, i think most people don't really care about my financial situation. they are either too busy worrying about their own finances, or love me regardless of what my money looks like. this kind of fear of being exposed and laughed at is really a very narcissistic and self-centered way of thinking-- the idea that everybody would care SO MUCH about my own financial situation, as if they don't have enough on their own plate.
and what about the fact that when it comes down to it, i am an extremely awesome, sensitive, loving, artistic, intelligent and courageous girl! does that just not matter to me anymore, and if so, when did that stop mattering? did i wake up and leave my brain in yesterday? my current financial situation does not define me! i make the rules and decide who i am, what i am worth and what makes me an honorable person!
i am loving and compassionate. i treat others with dignity and empathy. i live with integrity and i seek the truth. i have just as much a right to walk the streets and fields of earth with the likes of everybody else, regardless of how much money i have or do not have. i am proud of the decisions i've made in life-- the decisions that have made me who i am today-- and i am excited to be embarking on a quest for spiritual and material wealth. gotta start somewhere! no time like the present.
this blog will therefore be a documentation of me on my voyage to riches. i will be brutally honest with myself and everybody else. because if i can do it-- as an unemployed 29 year old, living with her mother, no assets, an unknown amount of debt, a very small amount of liquidity, and a big-ass dream-- then anybody can.
oh, i am also fasting today, in honor of my new life. maybe it's only psychological, but i think it's going to help. only mate and kombucha tea. hello riches!
according to suzie, the first step in getting rich is to have the courage to face yourself and your current situation. she says that money is like a person-- if we value it and take care of it, then it will come back to us with love and loyalty and abundance. this totally makes sense to me. so i said to myself, "self, what is your relationship with money?" to which i answered myself: "hey, i have a great relationship with money! i love money! wait a second... then where is all the money?" that's when i realized it was time to take at serious look at my relationship with the green.
turns out, i really don't treat money with as much attention and respect as i thought. i have a 401K somewhere (where? i have no idea. somewhere?) that has who knows how much amount of money in it. i have a "rough" idea of how much i have in the bank (not as much as i'd like, but more than zero, hey!), and in my wallet (again, not as much as i would like, but more than zero!) i have no idea what my credit score is and a shaky understanding of my outstanding debts at best. and to think i considered myself "fiscally responsible"!
this is the time to get real! i am going to take a good hard look at my finances and current situation. i am also posting this blog for any and all people to see, including friends, "frenemies" (i don't really have any enemies, but i have a lot of peripheral friends who i maybe don't feel as comfortable around as i would like) former crushes and flings, whoever. suzie says that in order to face yourself with courage, you should start telling everybody you know about your financial situation. let me say, the idea of this terrifies me.
originally, i was planning on writing this as a "ok so i have to level with you email" to my current amazing boyfriend and probable future life partner-- and THAT was enough to induce stomach nausea and a mild panic attack. knowing that this info would soon be available to everybody and anybody who cared to read it, all my friends and extended family, HIS friends and family, old classmates and co-workers-- whoever might happen to have a bit of curiosity or voyeuristic streak in them (like yours truly)-- made me feel incredibly vulnerable. "what will they think?" i said to myself. "i am going to look so pathetic. everybody is going to laugh at me. why does it seem like everybody else can get their life together but i can't? i am so embarrassed. i'll never be good enough. this is horrible." these and a million other self-loathing thoughts began swirling around in my head, with their suffocating, toxic, infuriating, diseased and pervasively destructive power, threatening to ruin my day, my newfound excitement, and my future financial freedom.
fortunately (and i think this is the whole point about this exercise) i realized that at the end of the day, i think most people don't really care about my financial situation. they are either too busy worrying about their own finances, or love me regardless of what my money looks like. this kind of fear of being exposed and laughed at is really a very narcissistic and self-centered way of thinking-- the idea that everybody would care SO MUCH about my own financial situation, as if they don't have enough on their own plate.
and what about the fact that when it comes down to it, i am an extremely awesome, sensitive, loving, artistic, intelligent and courageous girl! does that just not matter to me anymore, and if so, when did that stop mattering? did i wake up and leave my brain in yesterday? my current financial situation does not define me! i make the rules and decide who i am, what i am worth and what makes me an honorable person!
i am loving and compassionate. i treat others with dignity and empathy. i live with integrity and i seek the truth. i have just as much a right to walk the streets and fields of earth with the likes of everybody else, regardless of how much money i have or do not have. i am proud of the decisions i've made in life-- the decisions that have made me who i am today-- and i am excited to be embarking on a quest for spiritual and material wealth. gotta start somewhere! no time like the present.
this blog will therefore be a documentation of me on my voyage to riches. i will be brutally honest with myself and everybody else. because if i can do it-- as an unemployed 29 year old, living with her mother, no assets, an unknown amount of debt, a very small amount of liquidity, and a big-ass dream-- then anybody can.
oh, i am also fasting today, in honor of my new life. maybe it's only psychological, but i think it's going to help. only mate and kombucha tea. hello riches!
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