update

Hi everybody!

So I'm now living in Brooklyn, New York, and going on job interviews.  This is the first time I've really ever been through the interview process (in the professional sense) and let me tell you, it's been a trip.  

I am working with a couple of recruiters at this executive search firm in Manhattan.  The girls there are super sweet.  They say that even though my resume is somewhat of a trainwreck, I am polished and have poise and they should be able to get me into a little something at least to start, so I can begin building my professional experience and network.  Eventually, I'm looking to become employed by a Hedge Fund.  I hear that's where the administrative help makes the big bucks.  

When I go on linkedin and look at other people's resumes, sometimes I start to feel really bad.  The recruiter that called me today, for example, is my age.  She started out working as a paid staffer after college (doing personal assistance for a Senator's wife, and managing the Senator's house while he was on the trail, how cool is that?), and then became employed by one of the best companies to work for in Washington, DC (as nominated by Washingtonian Magazine), and then moved on to another prestigious job, until finally she arrived at the recruitment firm where she works today, placing people like me in entry level receptionist positions in no-name companies that don't even have a website.  I see her employment history (via linkedin, where I spy on all the people that I want to work for) and it makes me sad and upset.  Sad that I didn't have the confidence to try for the same things back then, and upset because I know that I'm probably just as smart and talented as she is, and why couldn't I have done the things that she did?    

Does anybody else ever feel like that?

But then I think to myself, "Hey self, guess what?  She probably hasn't traveled the country in a truck with a girlfriend and on a real adventure.  She probably has never lived in a community or on a farm.  She probably hasn't experienced a variety of yoga and meditation practices with some of the best teachers in the world.  She probably doesn't know how to draw blood and soothe patients, and she's probably never seen a live birth before.  She's probably never taught and mentored children and teens, and she probably doesn't play a million instruments and sing with the confidence and freedom that you do.  And she probably doesn't have an inspiring blog about financial freedom and coming clean with all your dirty little secrets."

I need to stop comparing myself to others in this hyper-focused, individualized way, and start valuing myself and my path and what I bring to the table.  Because if I zoom in on my resume, yeah, there's kind of a lot to be desired.  But if I focus on the full scope of my life history-- a path rich in personality, illuminated with variety, explosive with heart-- then I feel good, and remember that I am doing just fine.

my linkedin, in case you want to spy on or hire me